The depth of your love is beautiful... and hard

Oh my sweet Tristan...

Mommy is SO sorry.  Well, sorry and not sorry.  I'm sorry that your heart is broken from giving up this sweet kitten. I had no idea how much you loved her.  I had no idea.. that you would cry ... for 6 hours straight and be completely inconsolable.

I knew you liked her, but I didn't know you LOVED her.  It was 2 days.  Just two days of having her yet your heart opened up so big, big enough to grab a little kitten that loved you back.

You said "But Mommy, she is there when I come out of the shower, she is my friend.  Now she's gone and I'm all alone."

Mommy's heart broke.  Just broke.  

When I was little I always had a kitty and it's what I've always wanted for you.  Maybe someday Daddy won't get so sick.  Someday.

When you came to my office I had no idea you cried the whole way there.

When you handed her to my friend Vicki ... I had no idea that you would try and be my little strong man, and not cry.  You would TRY to do the right thing.  I'm so proud of you for being so strong.

I'm also so proud of you for loving her.  We can't have 1,000 animals and trust me, I would if I could.  But, we can't.

So, while I'm sorry that I hurt you by taking your kitty away, I'm not sorry. I taught you that sometimes, we have to do HARD, HARD things in order to do the right thing, the brave thing, the GOOD thing.

You dreamt of her all night, cried in your sleep and kept waking up and asking where she was.  It was literally the worst thing I've done with you to date because you were fully aware and fully in the moment,

I want to give you everything this world has to offer.. but sometimes, I have to let life win - because, well.. a lot of times it does.  It's how you deal with it that matters.

I love you more than anything on this planet.  I know how much you loved "Tiger" and so you know, my heart broke because I loved her too!!  She will have a great life and that's because we were brave enough to save her and to let her go.

You are worth every tear little Tiger, we love you.  Have a great life baby girl!!

Love, Tristan & Mommy